Potential
I spend days far away from my potential, from what I want to do, and from who I want to be. I’ve been feeling myself in the Truman Show for a long time. I live so many similar days that only the numbers on the leaves change on the calendar.
Due to my personal nature (I’ve had quite some time to observe this), there were many moments when I approached events and situations emotionally. In order to change this, I force myself to change and think a little more rationally by reading and researching. These emotional reactions have created incredibly contradictory feelings in me. A sudden change of mood creates so many possibilities and worries in my mind, or vice versa I can suddenly become the most hopeful person in the world. I know this situation is hurting me, and I don’t want to continue like this.
These aren’t only career-oriented ideas, and feelings. Of course, in my career planning, things don’t go the way I want. I learned a lot in my long-term journey for a career change, I made many mistakes, I met good people, and I developed various projects. This year, I participated in plenty of interviews, and I came to different stages, but I have not reached the point I want yet. This created disappointment, and worries about the future, and made me question whether the goal was really right for me.
I believe that I have potential, and I know that there are things that I can do well, put my character, and reflect my thoughts. Every day that I can’t do this brings me a little closer to the other side I don’t want to be. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a hurry like I won’t get a chance again, or I don’t know.
What am I doing right now? I’m reading a lot of books, articles, blog posts… I’m currently reading mostly The Almanack of Naval Ravikant. Afterward, I think about what I read, try to understand why people do what they do, and take notes for myself.
