My mind is still on the other possibility
There were some clear thoughts about how I should live my life, what path I should follow, and how I should plan. Or so I thought. Going on a long journey with someone, connecting lives, and always starting the day with her… But I realized that some things are not decided by the person himself. It just happens, you can’t control it. I wanted to write down this feeling that I have experienced again after a long time. She will probably never know, writing is all I can do.
I mean, there are scientists who describe this phenomenon chemically, but my definition would probably be this: not being able to take my eyes off it for a moment, being stuck, dreaming endlessly, and trying to stay away at the same time. Sometimes I’ve dreamed of a lifetime, I wonder what it would be like if I had chosen the hard one. I guess I would like to meet her at least, I couldn’t do it either, I was afraid. I guess my past sad experiences forced me to choose this one. I can’t explain what drew me to her, what burned something inside of me. In the end, I have added a new one to my regrets.
During the long night journey, those few minutes of images and a broken, sad song kept playing in my mind. Forgetting is both a blessing and a curse.
I realized that putting sharp boundaries on certain things and taking a determined stance only takes a moment. Tomorrow morning I will wake up with an alarm and go to work, but I did not want to forget that moment without writing something like this.
